The Jokes On You!

Who are these smart, creative geniuses who create witty and hilarious jokes? There are some right belters surfing around the internet, but here’s your chance to create your very own. Listed below are some of the finest joke posts from Reddit within the last week. If you think of any cracking one-liners yourself, let us know by commenting below!

1. prashnerd

What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.

2. lelouch_vi_brit

The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are.
He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch.
Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; “Meh, we will build a bridge in the Sahara”.
The king of Belgium approves and so it happens; the Dutch build a bridge in the desert.
They became the laughing stock of the world. The king of Belgium is pleased and says to king Willem:”Ha ha that was funny, you can remove the bridge.”
King Willem responds: “We can’t, there are Belgians on the bridge trying to fish.”

3. ShitWolf88

A few years ago when I first got divorced, I decided to go to Vegas, and wanted to have some fun.
I went to a casino, went to the bar, and bought a drink before I did anything when I am approached by a beautiful woman.
She asked me if I liked to have fun and I said yes, she then told me she would give me a hand job for 500 dollars and I laughed and said “500 Dollars!? Why that much?”
She then whipped out her cell phone and showed me a picture of a Lamborghini “You see this car? I paid for it by selling hand jobs.”
So I shrugged and said “What the hell, I need to live a little, I’ll do it” so we go back to my hotel and she gives me the best hand job I ever had.
She leaves and I pass out. The next night I go back to the same casino bar, and sure enough she’s there again and I decide I wanted some more.
I walk up to her and say “You were amazing last night, how much would it cost for a blow job?” She then smiles and says “1 grand.”
Again I’m a little bit set back by the price and I said “A grand? Is it that good?” She then whips out her phone and shows me a picture of a HUGE, luxurious house.
She then says “See this house? I paid for it with blowjobs” so I said “Alright let’s do it” so this time we go into her car and she decides to blow me in the parking lot, and its the best blowjob I ever had.
We sit there and I’m blown away by this woman, so I ask her, “how much would it cost for some pussy?” She then laughs and points to the casino. “You see that casino?” I said “…yeah?” She says “If I had a pussy, I would own that casino.”

4. midrangamo

When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?
When it is intercepted by a plane.

5. Pork__Hunt

A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.
The butcher replies: “Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!”

6. fnnythe3hd

My dad was fired from his job in roadworks for theft.
I didn’t believe it at first. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

7. send_me_turtles

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I’m coming after you.
You have my Word.

8. soulcheese6

What religion do ghosts practice?

9. Aware_building

I treat women like I do numbers…
If they’re under 16, do them in your head.

10. solidfang

Hitler wasn’t a very athletic man.
He never even finished a single race.