The Jokes On You!

Who are these smart, creative geniuses who create witty and hilarious jokes? There are some right belters surfing around the internet, but here’s your chance to create your very own. Listed below are some of the finest joke posts from Reddit within the last week. If you think of any cracking one-liners yourself, let us know by commenting below!

1. curtaturc

RIP boiling water.
You will be mist.

2. Akhi1

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
The wasted man asked, “Officer, are you absolutely sure I’m drunk?”
“Yeah buddy, I’m sure,” said the cop, “Let’s go.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled.”

3. idkjordan

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will be a pizza history.

4. Wigglesface

I just watched a movie about a y=x graph.
The plot was a bit predictable.
And a little flat.
Good special f(x) though.

5. bonep

A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife’s Response: Who is Tina?

6. FlyinSloth

What do you call it when a banana eats another banana?

7. Oxln

Why is there no black character in the game “Clue”?
Because then it would be called “Solved.”

8. TwistedLogic93

What’s the difference between a physicist and an engineer?
An engineer and a physicist are roommates. One day a fire starts in the kitchen. The engineer is the only one home. He hears the alarm jumps out of bed grabs the fire extinguisher off the wall and puts out the fire and goes back to bed.
The next night a fire starts in the kitchen again. This time the physicist is the only one home. The physicist gets out of bed and sees the fire. He looks at the wall and sees a fire extinguisher. He then goes back to bed happy knowing that a solution exists.

9. mykeuk

“Hurt me!” she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively…
“Alright,” I said. “You’re a terrible cook and I fancy your sister.”

10. TheGreatWallOfGraz

Just lasted over an hour in bed…
Thank you day light savings.